| durrrrrrrrrrr |
[10 Apr 2005|06:06pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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hey guys havent wrote in here forever. man life has been good cant complain. im losing weight i actually am okay with myself and im hanging out with old friends. seeing matt was weird. not like i had imagined. a year later and it seems like were still the way we were....except for the whole i love you thing. i care about him but were just going to be friends. wes and i are at a point of friendship now too. im glad the single life is what i need right now. hope all of you are doing okay and everything is going great. summers coming up....cant wait. im tanning my ass of lol. well talk to you guys later ;)
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| DAYUM |
[17 Mar 2005|01:44pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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well im sore as hell but last night fawkin ruled lol i went to the taste of chaos tour with wes and met some ppl there were just friends now and its kewl cause hes an ass and i dont deserve to be treated badly (been through that enough times) matt and i talk almost everyday lol although for a couple days he was mad at me cause i called him pussy whipped haha hey just tellin the truth its really quite sad oh well lol i feel sorry for him he needs a reality check oh well lala land is kinda fun sometimes alrighty well i guess ill get going lol talk to you guys later ;)
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| crap crap and more crap |
[25 Feb 2005|09:36am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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man life is sooooo sucky sometimes. im sick and now my honey is sick and hes got it bad, im soooo sorry i got you sick wes...oh and i love you muahaha. i hope everyone else is feeling good, if not im here for you. yeah sorry this entry kinda sucks im just bored and dont know what to write. so if you have anything to say just say it lol lata guys *muah* love yall
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| :( |
[23 Feb 2005|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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Took a walk down my life today
Broken and empty roads are paved with regrets and guilt I have made
Crushing what bits of hope remain
Do you want to believe what I believe?
I don't remember how to eat, sleep or breathe
Trapped inside this state of decay
You can't tell me that I don't want to stay
I know my pain...burn the faces beyond
Kill me long before I wake
Take me to my sleep I wait
Stifle my breath with every scream
I don't know when I lost my dreams
All my hopes, all my desires now extinguished in my wills fire.
It is gone and I no longer care
Come with me and some hate I'll share
You see no pain in my eyes, that is just my clever disguise
I will not cry to you,
You will not see the truth
Took a walk down my life today
Broken and empty roads are paved with the regrets and guilt I have made
crushing what bits of hope remain
Do you want to believe what I believe?
I don't remember how to eat sleep or breathe
Trapped inside this state of decay
You can't tell me that I don't want to stay
Suffering...lifeless age....face the pain...life's sweet suffering
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| hey yall |
[19 Feb 2005|03:07pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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man its been forever my comp was broke...im back biotches!!!!!!!! haha well valentines day ruled i was single but i got calls the only person who wished me a happy valentines day was matt he calls me everyday now i love it hes my good friend and thats it its nice wes and i are trying to work things out and its kewl man well i gotta go so talk to you all lata happy late valentines day everyone wahahhaaha *muah* lata
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| blah blah blah |
[23 Jan 2005|06:50pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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single life oh how nice it has been but im getting sick of it wahahha cant wait till march great fuggin show is comin up the used senses fail killswitch engage all of em im excited itll be kinda weird tho cause im going with wes oh well i love him alot and friends is better than nothing well i guess ill talk to you guys lata *muah* ;)
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| FuCk ALL oF tHiS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[28 Dec 2004|04:58pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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just pissed of again lol whats new i mean i love wes but sometimes hes just a fuckball lol haha man thats mean do guys ever grow up haha NO i can answer my own question oh well at least hes not a cheat like the fuckball i dated before haha thats a plus man im bored christmas break has been nothing but a drunkfest which isnt that bad but its getting old HOTEL PARTY NEW YEARS EVE yeayuh finally something fun to look forward to well i guess ill write in here lata oh yeah happy new year everyone if i dont write in here by then lol lataz
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| hey yall lol |
[14 Dec 2004|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
] |
well since my girl helped me out here ill give you all a link to see my honey buns wahaha we call eachother weird names its cute...... i think? lol ummm so yeah here it is this is wes my boytoy ;)
<img src="http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/xxrockerchick18xx/detail?.dir=2a2b&.dnm=8c61.jpg"width='320'height='240'
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| hummmmm |
[14 Dec 2004|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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okay mary ummm that works by giving people the link but how do i get the pic to just be on there lol god i hate being a blonde sometimes haha
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| grrrrr |
[13 Dec 2004|10:23pm] |
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<imgsrc="http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/xxrockerchick18xx/detail?.dir=/2a2b&.dnm=253d.jpg&.src=ph"alt="me>
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| humdidily dum im in love lol AGAIN!!!!!! |
[13 Dec 2004|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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man i wanna know how to put pics in this thing lol. so yeah if anyone out there knows how please let me know. i would like to put pics of me and my babe in here so you all can drool haha joking.....im prolly the only one that thinks hes hot. who cares my opinion is the only thing that matters haha. his lip piercing is rather hot i must confess. damn im kinda scared everytime i start to feel this way about someone something fucked up happens. maybe this time will be different haha i keep telling myself that. well i must go now my bed is calling im so fuckin tired night sweet dreams everyone ;)
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| dayum |
[25 Nov 2004|05:23pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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man im soooo full just thought i would wish everyone a happy turkey day love you all who are nice to me i appreciate it haha lata
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| blah blah blah |
[24 Nov 2004|07:50pm] |
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mood |
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loved |
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man hmm where to start i dont even know what to say just thought its been forever since ive wrote in this thing hmmmm new love in my life....wes someone who actually loves me for once in my life well someone who says they love me and i know they mean it someone i can actually trust i dont know i guess you could say im finally happy no more drama no more lies everything is so real when before it was so fake i can breathe deep and not feel like im drowning its great my job is great im so happy i work with autistic kids i finally got the job i wanted so badly god has been good i couldnt have asked for a better path my life has lead to before i thought i was getting deeper and deeper into a black hole everyday it was a challenge to wake up now i want to get up to go to work and see my wes lol im such a cornball lol anyways i better get going before i bore everyone talk to you guys later
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[09 Oct 2004|12:48am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
hey everyone whats up? man lifes been fuckin boring. matt called the other day and still fuckin lies to me even though were not together lol! wtf is up with that? oh well some things never change. date after date im just fuckin bored. where are all the fun kewl guys? oh well hope i find one soon lol. yeah guess im gonna go now im a lil drunk and i need to drink more...... lata
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| man o man |
[17 Sep 2004|07:21pm] |
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mood |
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numb |
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man im so glad its friday. im so fuckin tired i cant even stand it. just found out my cousin has hotchkins disease and he starts kemo on monday. hes 15 years old a baby no child should have to go through that. he told people to be strong cause hes gonna fight this. can you believe hes telling us to be strong. i found out from a phone call at work today. i just was shocked and started crying uncontrollably. things just keep getting worse.got paid today and it all went to bills....how friggin lovely. well im cheering up i got some vodka and im about to get drunk. its the only thing lately that works to free my mind of everything i feel. shit i cant stand it sometimes. im always thinking about stuff. over and over like a movie, memories and times i cherished play in my head. its like everything i was happy about is now gone. and no im not only talking about matt. i do miss some of the things we had, but i know its not worth all the lies and deceit.ive turned into a person i dont like and damnit lol im changing that. im no longer going to care about all the boohoo things that have happened to me. my childhood and life from then on sucked but you know i do believe in good things for the future. i just need to learn to keep my head high. i need to quit letting stupid ignorant people bother me. i need to live my life for me instead of everyone else. i give my everything to everyone and theres barely antyhing left. im so wore out. i just wish i could get a break somewhere somehow, but i guess good things come to those who wait.....
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| boooooriiinnng |
[15 Sep 2004|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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hey whats up everyone. im on my buddies laptop....its great! im bored as hell so i thought i would write in this damn thing. man im so happy my buddy called matt and hes all depressed cause his gf is cheating haha serves him right. hes such a fuckin ass that will never change. i hope he chokes on a boner haha in the words of christina lol im gonna get goin later all ;)
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[14 Sep 2004|10:27pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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i feel sorry for people who are ignorant and will never change!!!
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bizzarebeauty's journal
